Post-Competition Blues
I struggled with writing this post because I don't want to put out a negative vibe on competing. If prep is done with health (physical and mental) in the forefront, it can be very rewarding. I always talk about not making things harder than they need to be, but it doesn't change the fact that competing (both before and after the show) is still hard. The challenge is what makes it rewarding. But today I wanted to address some of the post-competition challenges that no one really talks about. Post-competition, I struggled, and felt like I had no one to talk to who could relate or understand. So if this helps at least one person, then I've reached my goal.
Post-competition, I had a hard time getting settled into an improvement season. I went through what's commonly referred to as "post-competition blues", a sort of "now what?" funk that sinks in after the build-up and anticipation of a show is over. Post-competition, I thought I knew what to expect, and I prepared the best I could. I had a post-show game plan, and I had post-show goals. But no one really talks about what happens after the stage, when your competition tan starts to fade, and your super lean physique starts to become more, um, normal. Like I said, I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to who could relate. I felt very alone. (I eventually re-connected with my friend Celeste... Celeste, if you're reading this, thank you for lending a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand.) I found this video from INOV8 Elite Performance, and it felt like the words were pulled straight from my heart. I found comfort in knowing that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling and that other competitors experience the same thing. The video perfectly summarized what myself, and many others, go through before and after a competition.
To summarize, before you start prepping for a show, you're pretty deep into a bulk. You're probably carrying a bit more body fat than you'd like, but you're also the strongest that you have ever been. Throughout your improvement season or bulking phase, motivation has come from performance in the gym: lifting heavier and heavier, watching the weights go up, and really just slaughtering your workouts.
When I first started lifting, I didn't really give a shit about losing fat. I knew I needed to spend some time in a caloric surplus if I ever wanted to build strength and muscle. I started out lifting challenging weights, and progressively lifted heavier as I got stronger. It soon became an addiction of seeing how heavy I could lift, how strong I could get, and how far I could push myself. I was eating plenty and took the fat gains in stride because I knew that (1) it was a necessary evil in reaching my goals, and (2) the fat was only temporary. I was doing lifts and lifting heavy weights that I never thought I would be able to do. I felt strong, and I loved it.
Eventually I started to feel like a kid waiting for Christmas to shred off the fat and see what I had built underneath it all. When you start to diet down, the motivation shifts from being performance based to results based, results being losing fat and looking leaner. Don't get me wrong; it's super important to keep performance up in the gym. But some suffering in terms of performance, especially towards the tail end of a long competition prep diet, is not uncommon. Even with some decline in performance, it's relatively easy to stay motivated as you continue to look better and better. I wasn't frustrated that my strength was stagnating. I wasn't frustrated that I was no longer building significant amounts of muscle. Body fat was coming down, and I could see the muscle that I had built. That, in itself, was motivating enough. Come the day my competition, it was the best I've ever looked.
Here's where it gets sticky. It's not realistic to stay stage lean year round. Some fat gain is normal and expected. After your competition, as you start to put on some normal weight, you no longer look the best that you ever have, yet your strength is still not what it was, and you're no longer the strongest that you've ever been. As mentioned in the video, and I completely relate to this, I felt like I didn't even look like I lifted weights. I felt skinny fat. I wasn't as shredded as I had once been, and I wasn't as strong as I had once been.
This feeling came in waves. Some days I felt like I was on top of the world, and other days it felt like I had been crushed underneath it. Some days I felt lean, and some days I felt like a whale. Some days I felt strong, and other days I felt weak. As shitty as this sounds, what never left me was the feeling of love and passion towards this sport. It was hard, no doubt. It was really hard. But what I love most about this sport is that it's all about you vs. you, being stronger than you were the day before, and being your best self. I'm glad I went through this, because as cliche as it sounds, it has only made me stronger. Even on the days that I struggled, I came out on top. No matter how many times I fell down, I got right back up. These victories are what keep you going.
I'm not sure exactly what it was that finally got me to take my head out of my ass. Maybe it was just letting enough time pass to get comfortable with the changes. I began to see myself more realistically and less critically. (After all, we are our own harshest critics.) Just because I had put on some extra body fat did not mean that I was outright fat. By the standards of the general public and anyone who is not stage lean, I looked great. I was still strong, especially compared to where I started. As I started making more and more progress in the gym, the focus switched back from being results based to being performance based. I rediscovered the love I had for lifting hard and heavy, for killing my workouts, and for feeling like a mini beast... the same feelings that I got when I first started lifting. Once again, I became ok with some fat gains. Going back to the same reasons before: (1) it is a necessary evil in reaching my goals, and (2) the fat is only temporary. I refuse to be so focused on staying lean that I never improve my physique. My intention is to keep improving, not to bring the same package every single time, and that means making some sacrifices to get there.
Although I struggled most with body image post-competition, there are many issues that can contribute to "post-competition blues" that I want to address. Post-competition is a perfect storm for many reasons. First, you just left an event filled with super lean, gorgeously tan individuals with seemingly perfect bodies. Being surrounded by this might make you think this type of body is normal, but trust me, for most of us, it's not. Not many people stay stage lean year round, and if you're not one of them, that's ok. Learn to be ok with and embrace your post-competition body. Additionally, after a prolonged diet, your metabolism has likely slowed to some degree. Dieting can be viewed on a continuum, from minor caloric deficits on one end to complete starvation on the other. The body doesn't really understand the concept of a diet, and it will fight your fat loss efforts to keep you from starving to death. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense. Pre-occupation with food, dreaming and constantly thinking about food, and an overall increase in food-finding behavior is not at all out of the ordinary. It's not uncommon to hear of competitors, after following a very restrictive prep diet, going on all-out binges, binging on all the foods they have been depriving themselves of over the last several months. (BTW, this is one of the reasons why I'm big on flexible dieting, taking away the feeling of deprivation and "off limits" foods.) Pair binging with a slowed metabolism and large decreases in NEAT, and you've got a recipe for disaster. If you don't feel like your placement was fair, it can add another layer of anger, anxiety, sadness, whatever you want to call it, feeling like all your hard work was just overlooked. It's a trap to compare yourself to other people. Remember, this is you vs. you.
If you ever find yourself struggling with post-competition blues, or really any insecurities with your body, know that you're not alone. I will always lend a sympathetic ear and help any way that I can. My best advice is to make the conscious switch from aesthetic based training and nutrition to performance based training and nutrition. Let go of the need to be super lean all the time, accept that some fat gain is normal and expected, and be open to the idea that it may actually improve many aspects such as performance, sleep, energy, food-related thoughts and behaviors, and nutrient partitioning. Also realize that fat gain is only temporary. You still have the same physique you brought to the stage. It's not going anywhere, and if you're putting in the work, it's only getting better. Realize that you didn't lose it, because you still have it. And when you decide the time is right to once again shred some fat and see what improvements you've made, your time and effort will have been well spent. Trust the process and believe in yourself. Don't let the stage be the standards by which you judge your everyday physique. Don't let placing dictate your worth. Don't look to anyone else to validate the time, sacrifice, and struggle that went in to your prep.
With all of the things that make competing a struggle, the most rewarding aspect is the relationship you have with yourself. Discover just how much you are capable of, just how much you can accomplish. See yourself change, grow, and improve. Learn to love the journey, love the challenges, and most importantly, love yourself.
Post-competition, I had a hard time getting settled into an improvement season. I went through what's commonly referred to as "post-competition blues", a sort of "now what?" funk that sinks in after the build-up and anticipation of a show is over. Post-competition, I thought I knew what to expect, and I prepared the best I could. I had a post-show game plan, and I had post-show goals. But no one really talks about what happens after the stage, when your competition tan starts to fade, and your super lean physique starts to become more, um, normal. Like I said, I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to who could relate. I felt very alone. (I eventually re-connected with my friend Celeste... Celeste, if you're reading this, thank you for lending a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand.) I found this video from INOV8 Elite Performance, and it felt like the words were pulled straight from my heart. I found comfort in knowing that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling and that other competitors experience the same thing. The video perfectly summarized what myself, and many others, go through before and after a competition.
To summarize, before you start prepping for a show, you're pretty deep into a bulk. You're probably carrying a bit more body fat than you'd like, but you're also the strongest that you have ever been. Throughout your improvement season or bulking phase, motivation has come from performance in the gym: lifting heavier and heavier, watching the weights go up, and really just slaughtering your workouts.
When I first started lifting, I didn't really give a shit about losing fat. I knew I needed to spend some time in a caloric surplus if I ever wanted to build strength and muscle. I started out lifting challenging weights, and progressively lifted heavier as I got stronger. It soon became an addiction of seeing how heavy I could lift, how strong I could get, and how far I could push myself. I was eating plenty and took the fat gains in stride because I knew that (1) it was a necessary evil in reaching my goals, and (2) the fat was only temporary. I was doing lifts and lifting heavy weights that I never thought I would be able to do. I felt strong, and I loved it.
Eventually I started to feel like a kid waiting for Christmas to shred off the fat and see what I had built underneath it all. When you start to diet down, the motivation shifts from being performance based to results based, results being losing fat and looking leaner. Don't get me wrong; it's super important to keep performance up in the gym. But some suffering in terms of performance, especially towards the tail end of a long competition prep diet, is not uncommon. Even with some decline in performance, it's relatively easy to stay motivated as you continue to look better and better. I wasn't frustrated that my strength was stagnating. I wasn't frustrated that I was no longer building significant amounts of muscle. Body fat was coming down, and I could see the muscle that I had built. That, in itself, was motivating enough. Come the day my competition, it was the best I've ever looked.
Here's where it gets sticky. It's not realistic to stay stage lean year round. Some fat gain is normal and expected. After your competition, as you start to put on some normal weight, you no longer look the best that you ever have, yet your strength is still not what it was, and you're no longer the strongest that you've ever been. As mentioned in the video, and I completely relate to this, I felt like I didn't even look like I lifted weights. I felt skinny fat. I wasn't as shredded as I had once been, and I wasn't as strong as I had once been.
This feeling came in waves. Some days I felt like I was on top of the world, and other days it felt like I had been crushed underneath it. Some days I felt lean, and some days I felt like a whale. Some days I felt strong, and other days I felt weak. As shitty as this sounds, what never left me was the feeling of love and passion towards this sport. It was hard, no doubt. It was really hard. But what I love most about this sport is that it's all about you vs. you, being stronger than you were the day before, and being your best self. I'm glad I went through this, because as cliche as it sounds, it has only made me stronger. Even on the days that I struggled, I came out on top. No matter how many times I fell down, I got right back up. These victories are what keep you going.
I'm not sure exactly what it was that finally got me to take my head out of my ass. Maybe it was just letting enough time pass to get comfortable with the changes. I began to see myself more realistically and less critically. (After all, we are our own harshest critics.) Just because I had put on some extra body fat did not mean that I was outright fat. By the standards of the general public and anyone who is not stage lean, I looked great. I was still strong, especially compared to where I started. As I started making more and more progress in the gym, the focus switched back from being results based to being performance based. I rediscovered the love I had for lifting hard and heavy, for killing my workouts, and for feeling like a mini beast... the same feelings that I got when I first started lifting. Once again, I became ok with some fat gains. Going back to the same reasons before: (1) it is a necessary evil in reaching my goals, and (2) the fat is only temporary. I refuse to be so focused on staying lean that I never improve my physique. My intention is to keep improving, not to bring the same package every single time, and that means making some sacrifices to get there.
Although I struggled most with body image post-competition, there are many issues that can contribute to "post-competition blues" that I want to address. Post-competition is a perfect storm for many reasons. First, you just left an event filled with super lean, gorgeously tan individuals with seemingly perfect bodies. Being surrounded by this might make you think this type of body is normal, but trust me, for most of us, it's not. Not many people stay stage lean year round, and if you're not one of them, that's ok. Learn to be ok with and embrace your post-competition body. Additionally, after a prolonged diet, your metabolism has likely slowed to some degree. Dieting can be viewed on a continuum, from minor caloric deficits on one end to complete starvation on the other. The body doesn't really understand the concept of a diet, and it will fight your fat loss efforts to keep you from starving to death. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense. Pre-occupation with food, dreaming and constantly thinking about food, and an overall increase in food-finding behavior is not at all out of the ordinary. It's not uncommon to hear of competitors, after following a very restrictive prep diet, going on all-out binges, binging on all the foods they have been depriving themselves of over the last several months. (BTW, this is one of the reasons why I'm big on flexible dieting, taking away the feeling of deprivation and "off limits" foods.) Pair binging with a slowed metabolism and large decreases in NEAT, and you've got a recipe for disaster. If you don't feel like your placement was fair, it can add another layer of anger, anxiety, sadness, whatever you want to call it, feeling like all your hard work was just overlooked. It's a trap to compare yourself to other people. Remember, this is you vs. you.
If you ever find yourself struggling with post-competition blues, or really any insecurities with your body, know that you're not alone. I will always lend a sympathetic ear and help any way that I can. My best advice is to make the conscious switch from aesthetic based training and nutrition to performance based training and nutrition. Let go of the need to be super lean all the time, accept that some fat gain is normal and expected, and be open to the idea that it may actually improve many aspects such as performance, sleep, energy, food-related thoughts and behaviors, and nutrient partitioning. Also realize that fat gain is only temporary. You still have the same physique you brought to the stage. It's not going anywhere, and if you're putting in the work, it's only getting better. Realize that you didn't lose it, because you still have it. And when you decide the time is right to once again shred some fat and see what improvements you've made, your time and effort will have been well spent. Trust the process and believe in yourself. Don't let the stage be the standards by which you judge your everyday physique. Don't let placing dictate your worth. Don't look to anyone else to validate the time, sacrifice, and struggle that went in to your prep.
With all of the things that make competing a struggle, the most rewarding aspect is the relationship you have with yourself. Discover just how much you are capable of, just how much you can accomplish. See yourself change, grow, and improve. Learn to love the journey, love the challenges, and most importantly, love yourself.
 |
| progress pic from this morning, focusing on growing |
.JPG)
HI there! Thought I'd drop in and check out your blog. I'm going to come back again when I have more time to get to know you a bit. But for now, may I say, that amongst other things, you have gorgeous shoulders!
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you for your kind words!
Delete