Regaining Balance
Competition prep is so aesthetic focused -- and rightfully so, as that is exactly what you're judged on. You're not rewarded (at least not in the competition itself) for doing things right, for being patient, for fighting to keep your balance, or for maintaining a healthy mindset. It is a physique competition, and you are judged on your physique. But you can't judge yourself solely on your physique, because at the end of the day, your physique does not define you, and you're left with who you are in your thoughts and in your heart.
The stage-ready physique is so temporary and so fleeting. Does everyone know this?? It's not realistic or healthy for most people to try to maintain that look year round. When it's gone, will you still be proud of yourself? Will you still be happy? Will you still think that you are enough?
Coming in to a competition, during the diet, 5 lbs away from stage weight looks pretty good. It's the leanest you've been since your last show. You feel great; you feel so close. After a competition, coming out of a diet, 5 lbs up from stage weight can feel much different. Your mind really fucks with you. For the last however many weeks/months, your focus has been on leanness. Now you're moving in the opposite direction, becoming less lean. This is where I need to constantly remind myself that this is part of the process. I am not moving further away from my goals. Consciously shifting my focus from aesthetics to performance helps me tremendously. As I currently transition into my improvement season, I am feeling much stronger and having much better workouts, and with that, I know that I'm progressing towards my performance-based goals.
Long periods of dieting and dieting to low levels of body fat certainly challenge your relationship with food. After all, you are pushing your body beyond a point where it is comfortable. It has taken me years of struggling to finally find balance with food, and flexible dieting has been a huge piece of that. But still, balance is a skill, and a certain approach to eating doesn't just bestow balance upon you. I've learned that balance takes PRACTICE. We become good at what we practice, and contest prep often calls for periods of being strict and somewhat anal. I love the quote, "Be a strict dieter, not a restricted one." And while I refuse to restrict myself of any foods or food groups (I love me some cookies and ice cream, even during prep), the strictness becomes exhausting. When I've been practicing being so strict, the flexibility can feel out of practice. It takes a concerted effort to not expect perfection. It has taken practice for me to allow "good enough" to actually be GOOD ENOUGH. As I enter my improvement season, I'm working on letting go of that rigidity and letting good enough be good enough.
For me, maintaining balance is an ongoing struggle, but I'm becoming better at it. Last year, I wrote a post about post-competition blues. I think a big part of dealing with that depressive funk is not putting all of your stock of happiness and identity into your physique or your life as a competitor. I know this blog always comes across very bodybuilding-focused, but there is so much more to me than that. I am not Amy the bodybuilder. I am Amy. Period. I just happen to enjoy the sport of bodybuilding. When my (tiny) abs fade, and when I don't have another competition picked out, I don't cease to exist. I still have a meaningful life with people I love, things I enjoy doing, and goals I'm pursuing. Bodybuilding doesn't define me. Being a competitor doesn't define me. I am more than my physique, and more than a placing at a competition. The more that I value my character, my integrity, and my relationships -- the things that actually make me me -- the more my balance is restored.
For me, fitness is a passion, a hobby, and an outlet for self-expression. Lifting weights is meditative. It's an avenue to challenge myself, push myself, explore my fears, find my strengths, and discover myself. It has led to so much self-discovery and allowed me to pursue ideas and confront struggles I never though I would feel comfortable addressing. It has allowed me to learn more about myself, and to share these pieces of myself without fear of judgement or rejection. I've met such wonderful people along the way. Kind, smart, and caring people who share the same passions and go through many of the same struggles. I have to thank those who have generously and openly shared their struggles, because their words and ideas have allowed me to better deal with my own struggles and to shape healthy and body-positive attitudes for myself. Balance is not always easy, but with practice, we can get there.
The stage-ready physique is so temporary and so fleeting. Does everyone know this?? It's not realistic or healthy for most people to try to maintain that look year round. When it's gone, will you still be proud of yourself? Will you still be happy? Will you still think that you are enough?
Coming in to a competition, during the diet, 5 lbs away from stage weight looks pretty good. It's the leanest you've been since your last show. You feel great; you feel so close. After a competition, coming out of a diet, 5 lbs up from stage weight can feel much different. Your mind really fucks with you. For the last however many weeks/months, your focus has been on leanness. Now you're moving in the opposite direction, becoming less lean. This is where I need to constantly remind myself that this is part of the process. I am not moving further away from my goals. Consciously shifting my focus from aesthetics to performance helps me tremendously. As I currently transition into my improvement season, I am feeling much stronger and having much better workouts, and with that, I know that I'm progressing towards my performance-based goals.
Long periods of dieting and dieting to low levels of body fat certainly challenge your relationship with food. After all, you are pushing your body beyond a point where it is comfortable. It has taken me years of struggling to finally find balance with food, and flexible dieting has been a huge piece of that. But still, balance is a skill, and a certain approach to eating doesn't just bestow balance upon you. I've learned that balance takes PRACTICE. We become good at what we practice, and contest prep often calls for periods of being strict and somewhat anal. I love the quote, "Be a strict dieter, not a restricted one." And while I refuse to restrict myself of any foods or food groups (I love me some cookies and ice cream, even during prep), the strictness becomes exhausting. When I've been practicing being so strict, the flexibility can feel out of practice. It takes a concerted effort to not expect perfection. It has taken practice for me to allow "good enough" to actually be GOOD ENOUGH. As I enter my improvement season, I'm working on letting go of that rigidity and letting good enough be good enough.
For me, maintaining balance is an ongoing struggle, but I'm becoming better at it. Last year, I wrote a post about post-competition blues. I think a big part of dealing with that depressive funk is not putting all of your stock of happiness and identity into your physique or your life as a competitor. I know this blog always comes across very bodybuilding-focused, but there is so much more to me than that. I am not Amy the bodybuilder. I am Amy. Period. I just happen to enjoy the sport of bodybuilding. When my (tiny) abs fade, and when I don't have another competition picked out, I don't cease to exist. I still have a meaningful life with people I love, things I enjoy doing, and goals I'm pursuing. Bodybuilding doesn't define me. Being a competitor doesn't define me. I am more than my physique, and more than a placing at a competition. The more that I value my character, my integrity, and my relationships -- the things that actually make me me -- the more my balance is restored.
For me, fitness is a passion, a hobby, and an outlet for self-expression. Lifting weights is meditative. It's an avenue to challenge myself, push myself, explore my fears, find my strengths, and discover myself. It has led to so much self-discovery and allowed me to pursue ideas and confront struggles I never though I would feel comfortable addressing. It has allowed me to learn more about myself, and to share these pieces of myself without fear of judgement or rejection. I've met such wonderful people along the way. Kind, smart, and caring people who share the same passions and go through many of the same struggles. I have to thank those who have generously and openly shared their struggles, because their words and ideas have allowed me to better deal with my own struggles and to shape healthy and body-positive attitudes for myself. Balance is not always easy, but with practice, we can get there.
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